Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The WOman: Same Behavior, Different Thinking


            She raises one perfectly arched eyebrow and leaves one dainty,silky curl out of her red and white polka dotted bandanna. Showing off her cocky muscles by arrogantly raising her arm and tightening her biceps, this powerhouse uses soft eyes to pierce through her viewers and dares them to question her strength, will, authority and gender. Lips pursed and strawb­­­erry colored, she proudly makes her statement of “We Can Do It” to women all over the world. Rosie the Riveter is not just a painting of a ‘masculine woman’ on a poster, but she is the spirit and confidence that empowers women of all ages, colors and cultural backgrounds to chase their dreams. She broke social barriers in 1942 and now you can find Rosie’s all over this vast planet. Women of today are more than eye candy, kitchen masters, and receptionists. Having breasts and ovaries automatically sets women apart as being emotionally unstable, too sympathetic, and unequal to men.
            Although sexism is an illogical concept, women still endure being judged because of their gender. People, women included, sometimes argue that women need to become more aggressive to get ahead in the workforce. Also, the old image of a woman taking care of the children and her husband, cleaning the home with not one strand of hair out of place, and having dinner on the table all with a smile and stain free dress, still hovers over the entire world. The idea that a woman should not want to climb the cooperate ladder or receive higher education still is conditioned into people’s brains. Women are just as worthy as men to receive an education and climb the corporate ladder all while keeping their unique personality and maintaining their image. Women need not change their attitudes, behavior, or work ethics to get ahead in modern America.
            Often times than not, women are viewed upon as either three things: an independent woman with an attitude, a housewife or a gold-digger. In the American society today there is no in between. If they have a great level of education and hold a high position in the workforce they are automatically snobs and aggressive. Of course if they prefer to stay at home, take care of their children, and keep an organized home while their husband is bringing home the bacon, they are looked upon as submissive and boring. Lastly, if they marry to be financially taken care of then they are money hungry and failures Fortunately, these three categories do not apply to all women and are overall general assumptions.
            So in this society chained to walls of stereo-types, isms, and close-mindedness, it is hard for a woman to actually pick something that she is passionate about and achieve within that field because all of her choices, achievements and failures will be thoroughly scrutinized. However, a man can choose to end his education at the high school level because a popular sports team wants him to join, but if a woman does the exact same action she is making rushed decisions. A man can have multiple projects going on within his life and he is referred to as a business man but when a woman starts to increase her resume, she is unfocused and picky. This chain of behavior and discrimination has been going on for ages but now society has come up with the perfect idea for women to be successful in life—act more like a man!
            In a recent blog by Clay Shirky entitled “A Rant about Women, the author submits that if women want to get ahead in the workforce, they will have to act more like men. Shirky uses personal experience, common knowledge and smart language to convey his opinions about women better promoting themselves. He refers to men as jerks and asks readers many interesting questions referring back to the difference in men and women as far as risks. The author explains how he told a “white lie” just to get into a prestige class during his college years; he declares that women will never do such things to get ahead. Shirky does not downplay the talents or importance of women in his essay, but he clearly believes that women can and should do better jobs of promoting their talents to get ahead. He sums the essay up with taking the readers on a ride to his classroom and explaining that although many women may be better than men in certain areas, such as creativity, the men will always come out on top because they are more willing to risk failure for success. (Shirky)
            Although Shirky has many great points within his article, is it really a good idea for women to have to change their behavior to get recognized in the world? Must women put away their six inch stilettos and blush to be considered a candidate for that executive board position? Do all the presidential candidates have to carry a briefcase and wear a necktie? Why must women lie to get ahead as most men? People live on planet Earth which is commonly referred to as “she” and Mother Nature is affectionately a female. Earth is the substance of our being and she is good enough to be a female. Mother Nature controls the circle of life, but she is not a male. So, how is that two major beings are in such great power but aren’t males? So if the logic of Shirky’s article is correct this is what must take place:  Mother Nature should cause hurricanes every day to get noticed and Earth should release its dangerous wrath upon human beings to show whose boss.
            The position of women in the human being culture is pathetic and it is not about lying to get ahead, changing their knee highs to slacks, or backstabbing their competition; it is about the world recognizing discrimination in its purest form and eradicating it. Women should not have to act more like men or change their personalities just to be accepted as equal to men. (Friedman) Hillary Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Jackie Kennedy, Michelle Obama, and Barbara Walters are all successful, politically known women who have sucker punched barriers and knocked over gender bias. So, it is not women who need to change, it is the system itself. It is the world that needs to realize that just because a fetus grows into a person that will be categorized into a gender does mean that they will grow up to be placed into a box.
            The boxes that hold the women of today are slowly being broken down and tossed out for tomorrow’s trash. However, some still remain strong and cast a shadow over the hope of women coming out victorious in the battle against sexism. These boxes include stereotypes, job positions and even entertainment. It is difficult to understand how major awards such as Oscars and Grammys are given to entertainers based upon their talent, but the talent is divided up into genders. It is not ok to divide those awards up into colors, so why is it ok that we allow them to be divvied out because the actors are different genders.  (Elsesser)
            If gender barriers are to be removed and eradicated completely, it will take a lot of dedication, time, and understanding within the human race. (Friedman) Changing their behavior and ways will not get women to the top of the corporate food chain; it will only fulfill the foolish idea that men are superior and women have to be more like them to be successful. Although the fight for equality for all women has a long road to travel, minds can be changed. One day the corner office with the amazing view will be occupied by a woman and the nameplate outside the door will read “President”. The Oscars will not be categorized into actor or actress but rather Best Role. Also, the highest political rank will be announced not Mr. President and the First Lady but Mrs. President and the First Man. This will all take place not because women became jerks and liars, but because the world changed its thinking.













                                                            Works Cited


Elsesser, Kim. "And the Gender-Neutral Oscar Goes To....." America Now: Short Readings from Recent Periodicals . Ed. Robert Antwan. Boston: Bedford/St.Martin's, 2011. 211.
Friedman, Ann. "Swagger Like Us." America Now: Short Readings from Recent Periodicals . Ed. Robert Antwan. 9th . Boston: Bedford/St.Martin's, 2011. 207.

Shirky, Clay. "A Rant About Women." America Now:Short Readings from Recent Periodicals. Ed. Robert Antwan. 9th . Boston: Bedford/St.Martin's, 2011. 201.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Not a Crime.

It is not a crime to fall in love.
It is merely human nature.
To be wanted. To be needed. 
To be held and to be happy.
It is not a crime to fall in love
It is a crime to hurt it.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

I want it All.

I want it all
Degrees and Awards on my pink wall
Trips just because the scenery is old
Can't have a boring life, no mold
I want to reach my full potential man
Look in the mirror, like Nas, I know I can
No excuse or mediocre behavior
Never want them saying, cmon we gotta save her
Painting my own stars in the sky
No need to ask me why
I told you, I want it all
Keep looking, waiting, hoping I fall
I'm not a sim you control
This womans controlling her own soul
No deleting my actions
Trying to divide me like fractions
I won't do half and half
This is very simple math
Don't have to follow a calculated path
Just basic plans with extraordinary results
Taking my life and potential off default
Myself minus my heads fear
Didn't say I was perfect my dear
Add a little confidence, a new walk
Get my teeth fixed, learning a new talk
A heaping spoon of faith and love
No way I can forget my Saviour above
A dash of laughter and smiles for sure
I truly believe happiness is a cure
Now I'm adding my determination
Plus the heart and soul of an unstoppable nation
Done with the math
I see my less traveled path
The twigs, branches and dark spots
Disguised as friends telling me I cannot
My basic plan isn't fool proof
But I'm a fighter I will always shock you
Stomping and leaping over the traps
Slip and falls, they'll still be set backs
But I want it all, so I push on through
Ma'am,  sir stop the second best
You should want it all too.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

The Addiction

I woke up this morning and immediately clicked on my instagram.  Yes before my prayers to God I clicked th Gram. *note to self, pray before social media* So, I see a picture (view the pic at the bottom of this blog) of a Korean family. The picture states:  "This Korean family would like to thank  black women for taking the money they could use to send their children to the best colleges and spending it on fake hair so we can send ours! Your insecurities and lack of racial pride has made us rich. You go girl!"
Oh boy! What a statement. What a picture. 
What a truth.
Growing up as a black little girl with short hair, my mother did the absolute best with my hair and her knowledge at the time. Cornrows. Single extensions. Relaxers. -_-
What I saw on tv was long, luxurious blonde hair. Why couldn't I have that?
So here you have a girl already wanting to change her natural God-given hair because of the world shoving their depiction of beauty down her throat. Fortunately I had a mom that made sure I knew I was beautiful.  By the time I reached teenager status and began picking my own hairstyles,  I just had to have weave!  Why? It was something I could use to feel beautiful! Sew-ins, quick weaves, braiding hair,  and wigs all became a necessary part of my life.
I began working at a beauty supply ran by a Korean husband and wife. The managers are causassian. While working there, my love for weave grew. I studied the different hair types and probably wasted a lot of money.
Although the money was leaving my hand and I knew it was dumb I kept doing it. Having silky hair to my waist was just enough. Then I ran into a woman wearing her natural hair.
No relaxer.
No weave.
No tracks. 
No sewn in beauty.
Her natural God-given tresses.
And she was beautiful.
So now my brain is in overload and I'm thinking,  "Wait, I can beautiful without weave?"
That thought began my natural hair journey in 2011. Which I have stopped and started over and over again due to lack of patience and a busy lifestyle; but that's another blog all together.
This thought also made me think.
When I buy toilet paper I am making someone else rich. When I buy food I'm paying someone else's bills. However, when I buy weave I am giving in to the social belief that black women cannot grow hair. Black women love weave. Black women need weave to be beautiful.  Our minds are so warped.
Now, I do not believe that buying weave makes you weak or insecure. I believe that spending your rent money for weave is pitiful. Selling your government assistance bridge card so you can get a 22" sew-in is low.  I saw these things while employed at the beauty supply.  And guess whose making the big bucks off your feeling of beauty? The picture says it all.
I wear my hair in its natural state, but who knows next week I may have a sew-in and there's nothing wrong with it. But never again will I be a slave to believing that I can only be beautiful with someone elses hair in my head.
Good day loves!

Saturday, July 5, 2014

NO not another black woman
Twerking or pregnant
No not another black woman
Fighting and on baby daddy number 3
No not another black woman
Blaming white women for taking their men
No not another black woman
Dropping out of school
No not another black woman
Selling her body
No not another black woman
Selling her stamps for weave
No not another black woman with an attitude
No not another black woman
Hating herself
No. No. No. No.
Not another black woman feeding
A hungry stereotype
Not another black woman
Not reaching her potential
Not another black woman
Downing her black King
Not another black woman
Giving in to the social media party bus
Of lies, sex, drugs and hate
No. No. No. No.
Not another black woman
Lost in her own fear.

Poetically Beautiful


What is beauty? What is poetry? Both of these are what we want to make it. No defined answer. No exact description. Being poetically beautiful has no definition It is looking in the mirror and loving the image you see, poetically. I am poetically beautiful because of my brown, sun kissed skin. My cotton frizzy hair. The mysterious nature-placed moles and beauty marks. Ten to be exact. The fluff of my tummy. The excessive bra meat. I am poetically beautiful due to my delicate, sexy lips. What I see as beautiful is also what I see as poetic. My features are extensions of my DNA and my DNA is poetically beautiful. What is your poetic beauty?